Why Guidance to "Eat Less, Move More" Misses the Point + How Making Space in 2022 Has Helped Me Grow
And just in time for Hanukkah and Christmas, you know I have more holiday recipe inspiration for you!
Happy holidays, all!
With Hanukkah in full swing (you know I have recipe ideas for you below!) and the rest of the winter holidays around the corner, ‘tis the season for celebration…and for reflecting on the previous 12 months—while looking ahead to 2023.
TW: Eating disorder discussions ahead; scroll to “What to Read” if you’d like to steer clear.
As I mention in the Instagram Reel above, after “breathe” in 2021, “space” was the word of the year I selected for 2022. At the start of the year, I had just moved into my new townhome and had just wrapped up a series with my business coach. During our eight-session deep dive into why I was feeling more B+ rather than A about my work and life, I realized that I was running my business a little too much like I allowed my eating disorder run my life when I was really sick.
In the depths of my anorexia, every day was a very unhealthy competition to see if I could be “better” than the day before. “Better” at the time often meant eating a little less in an effort to make myself a little smaller. Control was what I was seeking, and my body was the unfortunate victim.
For the first three years of my business, I was enjoying the independence, learning an unbelievable amount, proud of the work I was creating, honored by the impact I was able to have and overall pretty darn happy. But I could tell something was missing. I was grinding too hard; stretched too thin. I’d commit to plans with friends and feel tempted to bail. Or I’d proceed with said plans, only to pull out my phone mid-dinner to reply to an email “real quick.” That’s not me at my core, nor is it kind to my companions. I’d be constantly “on” until I’d make it to vacation and finally allow myself to unplug and relax.
In tandem with my therapist, my coach helped me finally realize that I have enough. I don’t need to feel like I should “strike while the iron is hot” and accept every business opportunity presented. My means are covered; I’m secure and safe. Plus, no amount of money is worth sacrificing the relationships that I feel beyond-blessed to have and that I’ve worked so hard to foster.
I know this sounds backwards, but with the help of my financial advisor, accountant and whip-smart Dad, I set an upper limit for how much I wanted to earn this year. This would still more than cover my financial needs, travel ambitions, culinary adventures and other activities that brought me joy.
With that number, I could break it down into 12 (a per-month income level) and use that as a rough guide for how much work to accept each year. I posted my core values next to my desk to help guide my decisions:
Curiosity
Connection
Community
Wholeheartedness
Belonging
Integrity
Vulnerability
Optimism
…and vowed to myself that if it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no. If I felt called to accept work beyond that, it would need to be really cup-filling and I’d commit to using that money to directly invest in my “rich life.” Otherwise, I’d close my computer and get out and enjoy this one precious life I’m lucky enough to be leading.
Turns out, it was the final few projects and that last incremental overcommitment each month that was the real issue. The source of a lot of my anxiety stems from feeling like I don’t have enough time, and I was unknowingly making things way worse.
With the extra space I’d find as a result of not overcommitting, not being so controlling and not making things so HARD, I could spend a bit less time at my desk. That would open up more space to stay in tune with those core values, to contribute to philanthropic pursuits, to share more time with loved ones, to rest more and hustle less.
The older I get, the more I realize that life doesn’t have to be so hard—and I also realize that I often add to my own “hard” by setting such unrealistic and unnecessary standards. Enter: The year of space. The year of a better flow. A perfectly imperfect, yet more aligned year.
Knowing that there’s no such thing as perfect, yet acknowledging I still have a lot to improve on in several areas of life, I look forward to sustaining the journey of self-growth in 2023 and beyond!
I just wrapped up a story about this exact topic for Daily OM last week (published link to come), and one of the experts I interviewed wisely explained this concept. “Unlike resolutions, self-growth focuses on gaining clarity on what you want your life to look like and how you want to feel, and then establishing goals and plans that align with that.”
Continuing on with this mission into 2023, I’m ushering in the year of ease. Chime in via the comments: What was your guiding principle of the past 365, and what’s your focus for 2023?
What to Read…
For some, a checkup with their primary care doc feels like NBD. A few tests, some notes and a thumbs-up presented with "See you next year!" But for millions of Americans—including most of the 42% of adults who fall under the umbrella of "obesity" by bogus body mass index (BMI) standards—a doctor's visit can be overflowing with uncomfortable moments.
With this first research recap, I’m certainly not throwing stones at doctors. In fact, my sister is one—and an incredible one, at that! I know that many medical pros, including my compassionate team, treat patients with care, targeted advice and in a body-neutral way.
But that’s not the norm, and some of the “health” advice doctors share at these visits regarding weight and health can be confusing, abstract, and in some cases, patently false. I apparently hit a hornet’s nest with this one, because after it was published and promoted on Google’s homepage, folks on social media came out with torches. But I stand by the moral of the story. I’m not suggesting that what you eat and how much you move doesn’t matter in terms of your overall health and disease risk levels.
My point is that vague advice like “just eat less and move more” doesn’t work for nearly anyone. And the fact that doctors don’t always know how to properly talk to patients about weight introduces a larger conversation topic: Since our current medical system is treatment- and disease-centric rather than focused on prevention, very little time during the medical school curriculum is spent on nutrition and physical activity. Plus, doctors are often too short on time to really get to know their patients’ habits and other external factors that might impact overall well-being.
Check out more about this study, discover how your gut health and mood are connected and learn how many low-ABV drinks actually count as “one drink.” Then I’m lightening the mood and can help brighten up your table with some crowd-pleasing and affordable holiday recipes.
EatingWell: "Eat Less, Move More" Doesn't Actually Work for Weight Loss, According to a New Study
EatingWell: Your Gut Bacteria May Play a Role in Your Risk for Depression—a New Study Explains Why
EatingWell: Can You Have More Drinks If They're Low in Alcohol?
Southern Living: This 2-Ingredient Dip Blows Everyone Away Each Time I Serve It
Southern Living: What To Add To Jiffy Cornbread To Make It Taste So Good Grandma Will Be Proud
Culinary Hill: 3 Holiday Menus Under $40
Culinary Hill: 25 Hanukkah Recipes to Celebrate the Festival of Lights
Stay tuned next week for the final What’s Good of 2022, including a recap of the most popular newsletters and stories of the year.